Should Be (but Better)

My Should Be Box (or The Way Things Should Be)

You should have a Mother and a Father

You should know your Birthday is the day you were born

You should have love, security and safety

Everything that happens to you should be preparing you for your future

You should be taught to be respectful, thoughtful and disciplined

You should have good food

You should have room to run

You should have someone to answer your questions and to look up to

You should be taught the value of education, morality and sexual purity

Someone should be watching over you as you mature

You should be taught how things work and where they originated

You should be ensured the basic knowledge about your native language, history, math, and the sciences.

You should know how the opposite sex thinks and doesn't think

You should know the value of waiting for the person most suited to being your mate

You should be kept from sexually titillating circumstances and sensuality

You should be involved in something you love and that absorbs your interests

You should expect your mate to marry you and to stand by you no matter what

You should expect to have children of your own

But …

If you never knew your parents, or a parent, you should know that there is an Almighty God who oversaw your introduction into this world. You should know that you have an Angel charged to watch over you, who beholds the face of God continually. You should know that whatever discomforts, or worse that have accompanied your youth can be redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb who was slain for you. He is able to intervene on your behalf and to cause everything that has happened to you, to become an asset for your future. You should know that there is a place of refuge to be had, and that safe place is found by calling on His Name, and asking Him for direction, understanding, and wisdom. In time, He will open the eyes of your understanding, and cause you to see everything from an eternal perspective. He will teach you to examine what you were taught by comparing it to His Word, and in that way, lead you into all truth. He will give you peace. He will be your Parent. Your Father and Mother as well as a Friend that will never leave you.

If you don't know your Birthday, you can have another Birthday. The day that you ask the Lamb of God, Jesus, to forgive your sins…the day you agree with Him, that He died for you, and was subsequently raised from the dead, His Spirit will come to live in you, and you will become a new creature. That day will be your Birthday…the day you were born again.

If you are in a dangerous place…you can call on the Mighty God who loves you and ask Him to deliver you, and He will! You can call on the Name of Jesus and He will deliver you from every evil work, thought, habit, and lie. You need to know that He always hears and answers those who call on Him out of a heart that is convinced there is no other power available to deliver them. In that way, you will be able to clearly see who He is, and that He is powerful…a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Every person brought into this world should be able to expect the love and protection of their parents and surrounding family members. Sadly though, too many never experience any such thing. They are given up from the beginning…lost to their families for whatever reason. You should know that God didn't make a mistake when He brought you into existence. YOU are not a mistake. God has a Plan for you, and it’s a good plan. "I know my plans for you, says the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, that you may have a future, and a hope". You can know that plan by trusting in Him, looking to Him, and running to Him. There is someone intended to be your mate, and you have the opportunity to provide a loving home for that person, and for your own offspring. You need to know that you also have an Enemy. He hates you because God loves you. He will try to do everything in his power to confuse you, to lie to you, to accuse God of the things he does to you and to cause you to question God's power and authority, and to make you believe that God is always trying to hide something from you. He is a liar and was a liar from the beginning. God set parameters for Himself. Until you call on Him, or someone else intercedes for you, He will not be able to free you from your bondage and confusion. Everything is in place for you. Everything you need is available. The Door is wide open that leads into His presence, but you must respond by agreeing with Him that 1.) you are a sinner (meaning that you need His help to be 'good', 2.) that He is able to save you when you call on His Name, and 3.) that God Himself approved of Jesus' sacrifice on your behalf, by raising Him from the dead.

When Jesus died and rose again, it was so that you would be able to approach Him. Before that time, no one could approach God. The Old Testament priests had to sacrifice animals for their sins, and then they had only one day out of the  year to go into His presence, and even then, a rope was tied around  their ankle so that if there were struck dead, having come into God's presence unworthily, someone could drag them out of the Holy of Holies. But, Jesus changed all of that, and now He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man comes to the Father but by Him. That is the truth about how it is. We can only know these things by studying the Word of God. Jesus calls Himself the Living Word of God. He has something to say, and we all have the means to look into the Scriptures and know for ourselves what that is. He will lead us, and guide us into all truth, as we lean on Him. It will take time, but in the interim, all of our circumstances are designed to tutor us in the Way, and to teach us the truth, as we compare everything we are told to what He has to say about it. We will grow closer and closer to Him, and find peace and joy in His presence.

Childhood is a time of preparation. It’s a time of learning about the world. It's a time to learn how to be an adult. Of learning how to take the initiative, and about how to shoulder the responsibilities associated with providing a living for your own family. It's about what to teach your own children, so that together, we can live in a society of like-minded individuals, armed with a work ethic and common sense born of experience, as well as the wisdom of those who have gone on before us. Unfortunately for all of us, society has broken down. The Word of God regarding what should be valued has been tossed aside, and as a result, everyone is busy doing 'their own thing' which has led to chaos, tumult, confusion, fighting, and fear. No one holds themselves responsible, and whereas children should have been prepared for their adulthood, they instead, remain children, valuing sensationalism and thrills while at the same time, practicing sexual 'freedom'. This can only lead to abandoned children, aborted children, and abused children. Children, being the most vulnerable among us, are subject to the situation surrounding them, no matter whether it is good or bad, and too often become the victims of the very ones who were supposed to love them the most. It is a cycle that will not end without Christ and the foundations that only the Word of God can provide. So, if you find yourself in one of these situations, being a child or a young adult, the only place of refuge is, once again, the Word of God. What does it say about how you should live, and what you should value? What does it say about what you should avoid? By agreeing with God, trusting in Him, and looking to Him, you will avoid so many of the pitfalls that surround you. You will fall into some of them, because we don't even realize that we have believed a lie, but because you are calling on God for His direction, He will use all of those 'mistakes' to teach you and to convince you of the truth. I say this, because, sometimes, we think we know something, when it is only an intellectual knowledge. God will cause you to know the truth for real, way down in your heart, so that your behavior is no 'put on', but the result of His tutelage.

Again, if your experience has taught you to be wild, thoughtless, spontaneous, vulgar, as though these were good things and to be desired, the only refuge is to find out what God says about it in His Word. As I have described above, these pseudo values breed chaos and contention, and result in consequences to others far beyond what we could have imagined even if we had taken a moment to think about it. The Scriptures say that rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and that it is worthy of death. Yet, we not only rebel, we actually embrace witchcraft too, as a part of it. You can see that this is spiritual in nature. It not only leads to death, but to a second death that is eternal. We cannot blame God, we know what is right and wrong innately. We all have a sense of what is fair and when it is not. We know, and we will be held accountable unless we repent. Now is the day of salvation. You can start over!

If you think that good food is a pastry, or coffee for breakfast, a candy bar, chips, and a soda for lunch, and a pizza for supper, you have once again missed out on something wonderful because of the relentless breakdown of western society. You should have good food. If you are interested, you can learn to cook, and experiment with fresh vegetables, fresh fruit, and learn how exquisite these taste. Most of us eat canned food and never know why we hate so much of it. Good food is available! But, you do have to learn how to prepare it, and it does take time. We have traded nutrition for convenience and are suffering the devastating results in our bodies. You should be healthy and fit, but you will suffer all sorts of health issues instead, because when someone should have lovingly prepared a meal for you, they simply opened a couple of cans. You do not have to follow their example! Cooking can not only be fun, but it can be cathartic, strengthening, and a passionate pursuit.

If your 'room to run' consisted of a hour in the school gymnasium sometimes, your idea of fitness is probably less than desirable. Without the natural movement provided by hard work and hard play, our muscles take second place to fat. We become misshapen, tired, unable to do simple things, and are easily injured. You don't have to continue to be robbed of having a fit, heathy body. Your body was designed to last your lifetime. It has the capacity to fight disease, and is intended to allow you to defend yourself and to do for yourself. Try doing some things you've never done…play baseball, or volleyball. Go swimming, try skiing, or ice skating. If you are totally out of shape, some of these things will be hard at first, but that will pass quickly! Stick with it for enough time to get past the soreness and you will discover the joy of being active, instead of just watching others do it on TV.

Now a days, not many people have answers that are any more complicated than the newest philosophy. Current philosophy is guaranteed to change every twenty years! What happened to answers that transcend generations? That remain true? That are timeless? Such knowledge is foundational. It stands, like the old stone castles, or the great wall of china, or the cliffs of Dover. Having it safeguards us from the mistakes that are all too common among us. It will protect us from the errors so many surrounding us are making. For instance, we have been fed the idea that sex is a natural bodily function, so why shouldn't we have sex for the simple pleasure of it? The idea of doing anything that has so many possible life changing consequences, and that can impact our lives in so many ways, is ridiculous. It's exactly the same as putting a gun to your head, not knowing if it's loaded or not. Sex is the stuff of life. Why, if we think for a moment, would we ever want to play with it? That's why it was originally intended to be wrapped up within a loving, binding relationship between two people who are prepared, as adults, to care for the children that will inevitably follow. A monogamous relationship also ensures that no sexually transmitted disease will find its way in, and that no matter what life holds, you will have someone to face it with. Together you will be there to provide guidance, instruction, and love.

What about drugs? Why is it OK to seek out substances that are intended to lower our inhibitions, our cognitive ability, and cause us to make silly, unproductive, and often (again) life changing decisions? Why are people being offered such things, and why are they actually partaking of them? I would dare to say that it is because of the very subject we are discussing…the lack of a strong family structure, good answers, knowing someone actually cares and is wise, respect for all of the above. All of these things hinge on knowing the foundational precepts found in the Word of God. He has shared His wisdom for our well-being, yet we stubbornly rebel in order to partake of a little pleasure. You will never miss not having done these things, but you will always regret that you did…guaranteed.

It is so sad that our Nation's foundational principles have been largely forgotten. The scales have tipped to the other side. Whereas once, those who were unwise were eschewed, now they are venerated, and those who cling to the wisdom passed down to them from the Scriptures are ridiculed. This is the classic childish attitude that screams that everyone else is doing it, why can't I? or, that's so unfair! We need to grow up! We have chosen to remain children, to refuse the responsibilities of adulthood, while demanding at the same time, to have those privileges as well. You might ask yourself why the Government, by the people, and supposedly for the people is helping us to destroy ourselves. Why are pregnant children being given autonomy? Doesn't being given their own apartment and food, along with other 'help' from the government encourage other children to do the same, in order to get the same? Who can calculate the amount of human suffering that is the result? Babies born into this scenario are almost sure of repeating it if they survive. What young mother knows anything about raising a child when she is a child herself? She will receive and believe whatever she is given and/or told. She will be further influenced by the other young people surrounding her, especially the boys who see an easy target…along come more babies, more diseases, more ignorance, more drug and alcohol use, and the cyclic consequences. Schools, funded by the government, are also complicit. When so-called sex education is used to titillate and therefore, encourage its misuse and abuse. You deserve better than that! The Scriptures say that when you ask the Lord to give you bread, He will not give you a stone. That if you acknowledge Him in all your ways, He will direct your paths. These lessons are the basics. As you trust Him, and lean on Him, He will expand your understanding about all things. I am not talking about going to any particular church, or about espousing any particular doctrine. I am talking about coming into a living, loving relationship with the God who brought you into this world, and who desires for you to flourish, and not to be destroyed. Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Unlike the children described above, you should have someone watching over you as you mature, just like farmers watch over their gardens as the vegetables and fruits ripen, so that they are perfect at the time of harvest. There will be a harvest of God's children too. That is why the enemy of your soul tries so hard to destroy you and your future. He doesn't want God to enjoy the fruits of His labor. God created humans with the capacity to be like Him. This life is akin to a baby in the womb. It is the preparation for a larger life…an unimagined life. The 'baby' is wanted. God has given us everything we need to make it through this life safely. He even took on a body, just like ours, and spilled His own blood so that we would not have to pay the penalty for our sins. The wages of sin is death. The soul that sins must die. But, the same God that cannot behold sin, was the very One that provided the way to be kept from that second death. He made it very easy. Whoever believes Him, (that He gave Himself on the cross for our sins, and that God raised Him from the dead), will be saved. God Himself will come to you in the form of the Holy Spirit and walk with you for the remainder of your life. He will teach you what He has said, and He will lead you and guide you every day. One of the fallacies perpetrated by the churches is that this transformation is instantaneous. Becoming a new creature is instantaneous, but learning how to behave, and what is true and what is not true takes time. It's a lifetime relationship. He yokes us together with Himself, like oxen are yoked together. The strong one walks beside the young one, the new one, the inexperienced one, and teaches him how to plow. In other words, HE is the strong One, and He will take the lead in our lives. He will forevermore watch over you.

Part of your education about this world should have included information about how things work, and where they originated. These include the physical things we use each day, as well as the institutions and thought that preside over us. We are saturated with inventions that make life 'easier'. Instead of growing our own food, for instance, we just go to the grocery store and buy what others have grown, raised, and/or imagined. This is a great benefit in that we have so much variety, and exciting choices. On the other hand, few among us know how garden. So many are congregated in cities and have lost touch with reality in this way. There is no understanding about how to grow food. If society, as we know it, should physically break down, we would starve very quickly because we have become completely dependent on those growers, truckers, and store owners that provide our sustenance. It is the same with so many things…we have cars for transportation that allow us to go great distances for work, but if we had to walk or bike, we wouldn't be able to get there.  I suppose that many would say that such a breakdown in society could not happen, but you only have to look at history to see that it has happened in the past. As we tend to make the same mistakes over and over as human beings, (these societal cycles are even taught in school), it's safe to say that it could happen again. And this time, as we are even further removed from the simplicity of the old ways, we will not be able to cope with the rude awakening.

Another part of getting wisdom and understanding, is to realize how and where the current philosophies that rule most thinking came from. All of these ideas came from a single thought, which grew through time into an entrenched ideology, around which we built schools and universities. Whether you are talking about religion, medicine, science, or philosophy itself, these are entrenched, strongholds of ideas, hard to be challenged, ingrained in the prevailing way of behaving. All of these ideas need to brought into the light of God's Word in order to keep those who follow Him, from becoming influenced and thusly, lured away from the straight way. The core of all thinking is found in the Word of God, and we can safely navigate this world by using it, while asking simply for Him to reveal His truth to us. He will keep us from missing the mark, and eventually, bring us safely home. A wonderful example for everyone to read regarding these things, is the life of George Washington Carver, the great scientist who gave us peanut butter!

Your baseline education should include an understanding of your native language, the basic history of your Nation and the world, basic math, and basic knowledge of the sciences. All of these things are available on line. So, if you fooled around in school, or your school was sub-standard, or if no one cared, you can do basic searches on-line and find a wealth of information. Be careful about being overwhelmed though. Choose one subject, one book…dip your toe in and get it wet before jumping in. Sample and enjoy, but remember that truth will always line up with Scripture, and then there are philosophies which spin off of the truth. If we are not careful, we can get lost following a certain tangent. Ask God to give you discernment, and to keep you from going off in a tangent.

I included language, because it is the cornerstone of everything else…it is how people communicate their thoughts on any subject to each other. But, there are many dialects, even of English, and often there is a disconnect. Even with the Bible, we are separated by time, the culture of the era, and language. Fortunately, there are resources on line that allow an easy comparison between today's language and the old English. They can also, preferably, take us back to the original languages of Hebrew, (the Old Testament) and of Greek and Arabic (the New Testament).

Anyone wishing to know another person will spend time with them. They will want to spend time with them. And so, in order to know what God has to say, we need to spend time with Him, Who is the Living Word…the Logos. It is a lifetime relationship and includes a lifetime of learning as we walk together with Him, every day.

Another baseline is to have some understanding about the difference between the sexes. Adult men are largely motivated by testosterone, while adult females are largely influenced by estrogen. Testosterone is the reason men have the capacity to be strong, fearless, focused, and sexual. Estrogen is the reason female bodies get ready to bear children every month, and accounts for their tendency to be very emotional and tender hearted. These are basic truths, although they have been often perverted in the present population. Men have harder bone structures than women. Women have a layer of fat under their skin that makes them soft, while men do not. These things are important to understand, because men and women look at the world differently, and they look at each other differently. A man will look at a woman with the desire to mate with her, while a woman, though attracted by his attention, would most likely prefer to be loved, and often both mistake his sexual desire for the love he declares. She is looking for a nest and a family, while he is looking primarily to meet his intense need for sexual release. That is why women must understand. If she thinks that the man pouring attention on her wants the same thing she wants, she will give him herself. But, too often, she will find that he will leave her as soon as she makes her intention for love and family clear, much to her consternation and heartache. When she makes this mistake too many times, she will become hardened and bitter. This is too great a price. If she will wait, she will eventually find someone who will want her to wait, because he genuinely cares about her. He will value her virtue. He will want a lasting relationship too, and that's when he will ask her to marry him. He will prefer a woman who has not slept around with many men.

Living together is not the same as marriage, because the premise of living together verses getting married, is that it might not work, and there will be an easy way out. It is a way of manipulating the situation, because each has that knowledge hanging over their head, and so they tend to behave a little differently, and be little more cautious. When children are born into any situation other than marriage, they are at risk of becoming the casualties of a broken home, and of having multiple 'fathers', which results in another cycle of the same. The premise for marriage is that the couple is willing to face the future together, regardless…"in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, etc…". I know that divorce is wreaking havoc on the institution of marriage, but the Lord Jesus said that divorce is the result of a hard heart. Marriage was instituted by God from the very beginning, because it is a picture of God's love and desire towards His creation, and of His final plan to bring His own Bride out of it. This is the secret that was hidden from the foundation of the Earth, until God revealed it in these end times.

Because of the foundational nature of marriage and family, we need to keep sex sacred and special. We have poured it over the whole of this Nation, until we cannot even sit in our own living room without having titillating pictures and ideas put directly into our face. How can we protect our children, and our relationships from falling apart, if people are continually inflamed by provocative images and thoughts? The only way is to understand the value of purity, and the consequences of corruption. Corruption cascades into all areas of life. From looking, to desiring, to searching, to partaking, to lying, and to betrayal. From the mind, to the heart, to the destruction of what we should be holding most dear, and love unconditionally. Sexual desire is the most powerful impulse on Earth, and should be respected as such. Nothing else has the power over us that sex has. It is not a toy created for our exclusive pleasure. Pleasure, as such, is fleeting. It is temporary, but it's effects on the individual, and on their loved ones is eternal. The Lord Jesus said that if a man looks on a woman to lust after her, he has already committed adultery in his heart. This may seem impossible to fix, but with God, nothing is impossible. He is able to keep us.

One of the ways that we can keep ourselves from the influence of things that dismay God, and quench His Spirit, is to involve ourselves in things that we love. Art, music, reading, sewing, cooking, etc… Yes, some of these too, must be approached with discretion. If you find that your heart is secretly looking for titillation and sexual fulfillment, even when you are trying to avoid it, you must take that revelation and tell God all about it. He will do what you cannot do. He will help you. Ask Him to bring every thought into subjection to the mind of Christ. If you are rebelling at that thought, ask Him to make you willing. Tell Him you are not willing, and ask Him to make you willing to be willing. He will do it! That is the power of God, to do in us, what we cannot do in our own strength.

These things are what I have learned through a lifetime (almost fifty years) of walking with my Lord. But, no matter…everything I have said here, must be subject to the Word of God. 2 Timothy 3:15-17, "…the holy scriptures…are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works". So, "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.", 2 Timothy 2:15. Be like the Bereans…listen to what the Apostle Paul says about them…"These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.", Acts 17:11. The Berean Christians, heard the Word of God directly from the  Apostles, and yet, they ran home and searched the Scriptures to see for themselves. They were noble! For a long time now, I have also leaned on one Scripture in particular,  Philippians 3:15, "…if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you". He promised to correct us, to lead us and to guide us into all truth.

An invaluable resource for me has been the ability to find Scriptures quickly, using the on line Bible Gateway search engine. I started off many years ago, (in my early 20's) using the Strong's Exhaustive Concordance. With it, I was able to search out all of the Scriptures dealing with certain subjects, (word studies). I was also able to find the meanings of the original texts using the Hebrew/Greek Lexicon which was in the back of the book. Now, all these things can be found on line and study becomes very easy, by comparison.

Here are some links:

http://www.biblegateway.com/

http://www.eliyah.com/lexicon.html

God will speak to you as you call on Him. He says a few things about it though, that need to be considered. First, He says to examine yourselves, as to whether you are in the faith. Secondly, we are told in James that we can ask, and He will not answer, because the prayer is for what you want rather than what He wants. We are instructed to pray according to the will of God. So, when you find yourself struggling with a consuming desire, it must be submitted to Him…'Father, help me! Please do (this), but let Your will be done, and not mine! Oh Father, Help me!' I am familiar with this, as in my youth especially, I longed for certain things. For instance, when I was separated from my husband and I wanted him to come home, I did not know God's truth about marriage at that time, so I agonized before Him. I understand. But, when we come into any loving relationship, we find it's not about us anymore, but about the ones we love. And so it is with the Lord. It's not about us anymore. It's not about using Him like a vending machine. It's not about expecting a rosy, uncomplicated life. It's about His will, which by the way, will amaze us. His desire is towards us as His Bride, and His will is always good. We will learn to wait on Him, and it will be worth it!

One very important thing - when God speaks, not only will it be in accordance to His Word, but He said also, that He will establish it in the mouth of two or three witnesses. So, as you listen, and you think He has spoken to you…continue to listen for what He has said to come back to you in two or three other ways. As it does, you will know that it is He and not your imagination.

With this, I will leave you, though so much more could be said. As we grow up, we put together a 'should be box'. We carry it with us everywhere and are most often dismayed, because things are never as we thought they 'should be'. So, we will eventually learn to put it down, to let it go, and instead, to trust the living God, Who is doing things His way. When we know this, we can be thankful, because, He will always work things out for us as they truly should be, according to His eternal perspective. And to that I say, hallelujah! Amen.